Beautiful Realities, Part 5

I recently read an article in our church's monthly magazine that had a large impact on me: It was called "Parenting Unplugged." You can view it here.

The premise of the article: "The Savior spoke four simple words: “Behold your little ones.”

A great quote from the article: “Beholding” is not giving a casual, distracted glance. It is the act of attending to another with the heart and mind. It is giving the kind of focused attention that says, “I see you. You are important to me.”

The entire article is short, but powerful. We live in an age where media is extremely prevalent, strongly powerful and incredibly addictive. It has so much potential for good, and SHOULD be used for good, as long as we learn to use it wisely, and discipline our exposure to it. The danger of course lies in how constant the distraction is. How easy it is to rationalize a quick glance that turns into many, causing us to miss more important moments than we even realize. I know I have been caught up in that trap more times than I care to realize, and I have come to find that prioritizing takes constant re-evaluation and commitment.

As I think about what I want my children to grow up knowing and feeling, it is clear that a firm grasp on technology will not only be important, it will be essential. But while I want them to appreciate and make use of all of the blessings of modern technology and social media, I don't want them to ever feel dependent on it, or addicted to it. I don't want it to replace their relationships. And I certainly don't want them to believe that it is more important to their mother than they are.

Like most mothers, I have plenty of triumph and failure moments. There are the times when I feel totally at a loss, and times when I think I'm doing a pretty satisfactory job. But it wasn't until recently that I realized that with all of the energy I spend on making my children a priority, focusing on their needs and well being, and all of the many many things I pack into our lives to improve them, sometimes I get too busy to remember to just look them in the eyes. One day it occurred to me, "How much time has passed since I stopped what I was doing, got down on eye level with my child, looked him/her in the eyes, and really listened to what he/she was saying, undistracted by anything else?

Then I read this article, about "beholding" our children. Beholding means, in part, doing whatever it takes to stop multitasking and look into their sweet, innocent faces to see what is really there. It means unplugging more frequently. It means showing them by example where our priorities should be. So this month, I will use my computer a little less. I will focus my time a little better. I will slow down a little more. I will sit on the floor and listen a little more often. It even means I'll put my camera down and see them with my eyes a little more frequently, because beautiful realities come from real connections. It's where we learn to really see each other. Where we see fear and pain, where we see excitement, and happiness, and real joy. These are connections that we can only experience when we put away our screens, our to do lists, and our daily commotion to look each other in the eye and experience life together.

Happy May everyone!