Family Pictures 2011

So, I have decided (like every other wife/mother on the planet) that it is important to have nice family pictures taken every year to document the growth of our family. It is lucky that last year was our wedding, since I just thought of this extremely original idea about a month ago. Sliding in right before the end of the year, I can check that one off my list. Of course, I begged Otto to let me buy some new clothes for the occasion. Because he is a perfect husband, he encouraged me to do so. I also timed my much overdue haircut for last week, bought a new outfit for the baby, (on sale of course) and spent a lot of time deciding what the perfect outfits to wear would be. I mix and matched some of my new clothes with some that I already had to fit with what the boys were wearing, and when we were in Mesa last week, my sister-in-law took some great pictures for us. I was pretty happy with the result:

Now is the part where I (of course) post an obnoxious amount of pictures of my adorable child:

He is the cutest child I have ever seen.

Of course the best part of this whole scenario was that upon arriving on the scene to take pictures, I took a look at Otto and it suddenly occurred to me:

 

...Apparently my months of careful planning yielded a not so original idea....

But even in old clothes... we're a pretty happy family. Here's to a great 2011! I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with as many reasons to be grateful as ours was!

WE DID IT!!!

You know those things you always said you'd never do, because it doesn't sound like fun, you hate doing it, and you think you are incapable?

Running a race is one of those things for me. People always told me that it got easier after the first couple of miles. That seemed hard to believe when running only one mile seemed miserable beyond belief. I was never a runner growing up, and I went through phases throughout college and after where I would get into running, but at best I could run a couple of miles at a time for short periods of time, until I lost interest again. I always thought I would be pretty proud of myself if I ever made it to a race, but deep down, wasn't sure I could ever do it.

Luckily, my friend Bree inspired me by running her first 5K a few months ago. I figured if she could run her first 5K after having a baby, so could I. So we trained together and today... I did it! I accomplished one of my life goals, one that quite frankly I wasn't 100% positive, even this morning that I could successfully pull off, but I did it! And at least for the moment, I feel so good I want to go out and run a marathon!

I'm sure I'll feel differently tomorrow.

Most people I know could go out and run a 5K tomorrow without even training, but for me this took a lot of hard work, and I am SO glad I did it. Now that I know I CAN be a runner, I am going to keep setting goals. Bree and I are running another 5K in December, and then I think my next goal will be a sprint tri, and then after that a 10K. What are your fitness goals for 2012???

So here are a few pictures from, what feels like to me, a huge triumph. Side note, the clock says 51 minutes, but that was the clock that started with the 10K departure 17 minutes before us. Our time was 34 minutes and 30 seconds.

Pictured here with our inspirations. :)

Ode to Utah

It's been four and a half years now since I packed up my little chevy aveo (Yes, I've totaled that car, and another since then) and drove... kicking and screaming (or at least crying) every last mile from Washington to Utah.

Four and a half years....

At one point I said I never wanted to move to Utah. Then I said, "If I ever move to Utah, I will not marry someone I meet in Utah, because then everyone will say, "You just moved to Utah to get married."'

So... I did, I did, and they did.

But life is good, so I'm not complaining. Sometimes when I round that bend around Farmington, and I can start to see the lights of the Bountiful temple and know I'm almost "home", I remember how I felt that night when I drove in, in tears, knowing that I was here to stay, and so alone. Yet, as much as I didn't want to admit it at the time, I knew deep down there must be a lot of good waiting for me in this city. My mom once said about another difficult move I once made: "Just think of all the people here who you have yet to meet and love." I have tried to remember that every time I was frightened of going somewhere new. Of course, every time she has been right.

Now we are putting in med school applications all around the country. Come next summer, there is a 1 in 27 chance we will stay (I am not smart enough to figure out that percentage in my head. Anyone that wants to do it for me, be my guest). If we don't stay, we will live in Washington, California, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Ohio, New York, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Louisiana, Arizona, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Minnesota, Virginia, or North Carolina.

And so, in honor of the state and city I have now devoted 4 1/2 years of my life to, here is a list of the top ten greatest things about Utah, that I will miss next year, (in no apparent order):

1. The Mountains:

I'll miss the hiking, the views, the fresh air, the summer bbqs, the places that have been my places to be alone and think over the years... the beautiful mountains of Utah!

#2- The City Library

One of my favorite places in this city. When I first moved here I used to love to go buy an Italian Soda, climb to the top floor and spend the afternoon studying for my boards. Now I love to take my baby there and attend story time, check out books for babies books on how to raise babies, classics for me to read and keep my mind sharp, and old movies. I still buy Italian Sodas of course. I love how light this building is. It's always been great for lifting my spirits.

#3- The Salt Lake City Temple

The place we were married... one of the most beautiful places on earth! I will miss being able to go there on a regular basis. I will also miss this:

 The lights on temple square at Christmas time. Despite how COLD it is (see Caleb's face) it really is beautiful, and a wonderful way to celebrate the Christmas season.

#4- Siblings:

I have loved being so close to my sister Robin at BYU, and all of the fun activities we have done together! I will miss her next year if we leave Utah! We will also miss having Josh and Amy so close!!!

I should also mention all of our extended family that have taken such good care of us, including my grandparents, and several of our aunts, uncles and cousins. Family dinners have definitely been one of my favorite parts of living in Utah!

#5- LDS Hospital

The place where I learned to be a nurse, became a charge nurse, led my own committee, experienced my first encounters with death, laughed, cried, fell asleep standing up, and overcame fear in a way I never have in my life. The only place I spent almost as many nights as I did in my bed. All the doctors and nurses that I have come to love and respect, and shared so much with.... I will miss this place.

#6- Nurses day out:

Three of my favorite RNs, who constantly teach me how to be a better nurse, and make me laugh hysterically for hours on end every time we get together. I will miss our breakfast/lunch dates out that I have come to look forward to so much!

#7- Liberty Park

Another one of my favorite places in SLC. My favorite place for picnics in the summertime, my favorite trails for running or going for walks with the stroller. I love this place!

#8- Hale Center Theater

Where else on earth can you see Broadway quality for only 26 bucks a ticket? We have seen SO many good shows at this place. I will miss this for sure!

#9- My canning/running/mothering/reading/greys anatomy watching/bread making/decorating/cooking/budgeting/deal finding/farmers marketing/fellow nurse/traveling/shopping/event planning/restaurant hopping/crafting buddy/adviser Bree Ballard:

Last week we stayed up till 11 pm making applesauce, bread, and a complete disaster of her kitchen. Together we peeled apples by hand for 8 hours straight. This week we are taking our babies to story time, exploring the library, canning apples and making apple pie filling, attending a show for women about Christmas gifts, and running a 5K. DEFINITELY don't know what I'll do without her!

#10- Cafe Rio

My life will never be the same. One can only hope and pray for franchises.

Now, before you start saying your goodbyes and reach for a box of kleenex... we aren't going anywhere yet! In fact, we just got our secondary request from the University of Utah yesterday! (That makes 17 secondary requests out of 27 so far, wooohoo!!!)

But since the likelihood of us leaving before the year is up is still quite high, let me say before I go that I'm glad I came. I've gotten a lot of good things out of Utah in the last four and a half years.

And the best of those things..... I'll be taking with me. :)

Back in the Saddle

Right out of school, I knew I wanted to be an ICU nurse. It wasn't a decision that came easily, but once it came, it stuck. Like, forever.

For three years I battled day shifts, night shifts, weekend shifts, Christmas shifts away from my family, and everything else that comes with the brutality of medical schedules. I prayed almost constantly that I wouldn't kill anyone, and I sometimes had to keep glancing at my badge that said "RN" all the way into work, and then all the way through my shift to remind myself that I was capable of handling the responsibilities I had. After about a year, my confidence increased, and so did my exhaustion. I remember distinctly one day, listening to a friend tell me all about his hiking adventures from the weekend, and all I could think of was, "I wonder if I'll ever have enough energy to want to go hiking again." After three years I had come a long way in my career. I was now a charge nurse, and running my own regional committee centered around patient safety and involving managers of all regional ICUs. I loved it, but I decided that it was time to bring it to an end, and do something a little more "family friendly" in preparation for my upcoming marriage. So, I switched to Home Health, and left behind the ICU and all of it's memories and experiences. One of my dear friends, a nurse practitioner on the unit wrote on my goodbye card, "When you get bored, we'll still be here." I laughed and told her that wouldn't happen.

About two weeks into my home health career, I came home and told Otto that 9-5 was heaven, and I did not miss the physical, emotional and mental drain of the crazy, hectic, holding people's lives in your hands, ICU.

Two weeks after that to my surprise, and for the remainder of the year, I spent all of my time longing to be back in the throws of the chaos and the challenge, and the craziness.

Nine months later, with all the courage I could muster, I went and spoke with my old manager, hoping she wouldn't hate me for leaving previously. To my relief, she was glad to hire me back PRN, which was perfect since I was expecting a baby four months later. After jumping through several hoops, I walked back through those doors in my green scrubs, nearly a year after I had left and immediately felt I had come home.

I was overwhelmed by the response from coworkers, who at least pretended to be as glad to see me as I was to see them. It almost felt as though I were attending a party with old friends instead of being at work. I relished every second. I came home feeling that old familiar feeling that I had been run over by a bus. Ah it felt good!

Now I am signed up for just two shifts a month, often times I only work one of those, based on the census of the unit. Today at work I was told that I could start charging again when I was needed to cover for a charge nurse. How unfair is it, that I get to have it all? All the glories and experiences of my old job, with only enough shifts a month to make it fun? Most importantly, I get to do what I love OCCASIONALLY, so I can do what I love MOST (taking care of my sweet baby) full time? How unfair is it that I get the best of both worlds? Life is so grand.

So here are a few pictures (old as they may be) of life on the unit:

Although these pictures may appear as though life in the ICU is leisurely, there is a reason why I only have four pictures from the last four years. In the ICU I sometimes work 13 hours without stopping to eat. I clean up every body fluid you can think of. I get kicked, punched, spit on, slapped, and yelled at. I mop up blood, perform chest compressions, and manage several life support machines at once. I help people live, and I watch people die. I hold hands of frightened patients and family members. I teach every opportunity I get.

And I love it. I don't do it full time anymore. Crash carts and IVs are second place now, and my stethoscope and badge have to be dusted off from time to time. This is because first and foremost, I was born to be a mother.

Second to that, I was born to be an ICU nurse. Today I worked 2 1/2 hours, and then came home to hold my baby. I'll work one more time this month while his daddy spends the day with him, and spend every other minute with him. It really isn't fair... I have everything I ever wanted. Life just couldn't be much better than this.